


The big bad wolf

by JessicaMariana



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 20:04:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5839144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessicaMariana/pseuds/JessicaMariana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The wolf that had been circling her from afar crept closer. Allona stiffened where she stood, afraid of what the enormous beast would do if she moved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The big bad wolf

 

“Solas?”

Allona woke with a start, her heart pounding and her body clammy with sweat. She looked around the dark room, confused over her whereabouts. Something stirred beside her. She shifted closer to the sound and reached out. Her hand touched warm skin. She rested it there.

“Allona?” Cullen’s voice called out, thick with sleep. “What’s the matter?”

Allona felt an odd mix of disappointment and relief wash over her.

“Cullen,” she breathed.  _ Of course _ , she added to herself. She was in his room - the hole in the roof should have given it away.

“Are you alright?” Cullen asked and got up on his elbows.

Allona pulled her knees to her chest and took a deep breath. Ever since Solas’ disappearance, she’d been plagued by nightmares of a great wolf stalking her, and for some reason she connected it all to him.

“It’s just a nightmare,” she replied. “Go back to sleep.”

Cullen moved closer. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, but let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

Allona stroked the hand he’d placed at her side and gave him a weak smile despite him being unable to see it. It wasn’t long before his steady breaths filled the silence. Allona sat and listened to it, let her breath match his to calm herself, but the images of the wolf circling her were still fresh in her mind, and she couldn’t close her eyes without seeing it looming before her. She wanted to tell Cullen, but he had too many uneasy nights plagued by his own nightmares for her to disturb his few good ones. So she sat alone in the darkness until she was too tired to stay awake and slumped back down beside Cullen.

The wolf that had been circling her from afar crept closer. Allona stiffened where she stood, afraid of what the enormous beast would do if she moved. It could probably smell her fear, because it drew ever closer. It’s nose was now only inches from her. It sniffed the ground around her, still circling. A shiver shot up Allona’s spine when the wolf disappeared out of sight. She dared not turn around to see where it had gone. Suddenly something pressed up against her back. A soft whimper escaped Allona. She wondered where her sword was. If she would only have it within reach, she could relax. The wolf prodded her with its nose up and down her back and then down her legs and in between them. Allona wanted to tell it to stop, but she couldn’t. Her body wouldn’t move. The wolf circled back in front of her and looked at her with it’s glowing eyes. Allona was afraid to look into them for longer than a second, but for the short time she did she thought there was something familiar about them - a sort of old sadness she’d seen only once before. She swallowed hard and fisted her hands at her sides. The wolf drew closer and pressed its nose up against her, its hot breath burning against her skin. Allona dared a quick glance down. A gasp of horror escaped her and she stumbled backwards. Her belly was suddenly enormous and round, and she could feel something move inside her. Her legs gave way beneath the weight. She fell to the ground, hands wrapped around herself as she cried out in pain.

“Allona!”

Allona woke with a start. Tears blurred her vision as she looked up to meet Cullen’s worried face above her. She reached up and dried her eyes.

“Are you alright?” Cullen asked.

“You look like crap,” she told him hoarsely as she sat up. “Did you sleep much?”

“Not as much as I would’ve liked to,” he admitted, scratching his neck. “But tell me-”

“I’m alright,” Allona answered automatically, but corrected herself at once. “No. I’m sorry. I’m not… I have this nightmare. It’s… disturbing. And I seem to have it more often. And it seems to get worse.”

“I have noticed as much,” Cullen commented with displeasure.

“I’m sorry,” Allona said, and fresh tears dripped down her cheeks. “I should’ve told you, but with your lyrium-withdrawal, you’re sleeping unwell enough. I didn’t want to-”

“I understand.” Cullen wrapped his arms around her lanky figure. “But please, talk to me.”

Allona held him close and tightly as she gradually calmed down, but she still dared not close her eyes for long. It was as if the wolf had become part of her unconsciousness. It was patient. It waited for her to shut out the real world.

“Cullen,” Allona said then, quietly speaking against his shoulder. “How long has it been since our victory against Corypheus?”

Cullen pondered the sudden question for a moment before replying. “Almost a year. Why do you ask?”

“It doesn’t feel like so long ago. I can still recall it all as if it happened yesterday. I can still feel...” she fell silent.

Cullen released her from his embrace and looked at her. He knew how much she had loved Solas, and how much Solas’ disappearance had affected her. He knew that he was still not first in her heart, but wished that some day he would, that some day Solas would be but a distant memory.

“I am here,” Cullen reminded her softly, stroking her tousled hair. “I will not disappear.”

Allona looked down between them and said nothing. She wanted to believe Cullen’s words, but it was hard. What if another big fight broke out and they lost each other among the soldiers; what if Cullen fell and she wasn’t there. Then he would disappear. Forever.

Allona felt a thumb stroke the tears off her cheek. She hadn’t realised that she had closed her eyes. She froze in fear, steadying herself for the wolf’s approach, but when she looked up, a completely different character stood before her. Half-bare feet covered in handmade leather boots, tattered old cotton rags serving as tunic, and the fur of a great wolf on his shoulders.

“Solas?” Allona reached up to touch his face.

“Solas?” Cullen repeated with confusion. He looked at Allona; her eyes were unfocused as if she was under a spell. She shook her gently by the shoulders, but she didn’t move.

“Solas,” Allona repeated, and felt a smile tug at the corners of her mouth as her hand rested firmly against his warm cheek. “Where have you been?”

“I’m sorry…  _ ma vhenan _ .” Solas’ voice echoed in her head though his lips didn’t move. He smiled back at her, though his eyes were filled with sorrow - the same old sadness she had seen in the wolf’s eyes.

“Why did you leave?” Allona wondered. There was much she wanted to know, but that was the only thing that mattered. She hoped that if he answered that, she might get closure at last.

“I told you it would be kinder in the long run,” Solas replied and bent forward to rest his forehead against hers. “I knew I would break you heart. But know that mine breaks with with it.”

“Solas, please explain,” Allona pleaded, and buried her hands in the soft fur on his shoulders. “Why..? I need you. Without you, I’m...”

“Wait another year,” Solas murmured in her mind as he took her hands into his own. “We will meet again.” He stepped back. “You will not remember this meeting.” He let her hands go. “But I will.” His shape began to change, and before she knew it Allona was facing the great wolf again. “You will only know that it is not yet over between us.” Solas’ voice continued in her mind. “I will come back. We will meet again, and then… you shall have your answers. But for now,  _ vhenan _ . Do not look for me. Enjoy the time you have left.”

The wolf disappeared into the shadows, and as soon as Allona blinked, she was back in Cullen’s room, and Cullen was looking at her with wide, anxious eyes.

“Cullen?” Allona said, confused. “What’s wrong?”

“‘What’s- what’s wrong’?” Cullen repeated. “You started muttering something about Solas, and then looked as if you were under a spell. You wouldn’t move. I called your name, but-”

“What?” bewildered, Allona scratched her head and looked around. She couldn’t remember what had happened between waking up and now, but she suddenly felt at ease, as if a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

“Are you alright?” Cullen asked calmly and stroked his hands down her arms.

“Yes,” Allona replied, and smiled softly at him. “I am.” She wrapped her arms around Cullen and buried her face in the crook of his neck and inhaled the scent that was him. She felt relaxed for the first time in years, and as she sat there in Cullen’s arms, she reminded herself that she was loved.

**Author's Note:**

> I might write more to this. Or leave the ending open. I don't know yet.
> 
> If you wish to spread this on tumblr, please reblog it from me: [lustfullygazing](http://lustfullygazing.tumblr.com/)  
> 


End file.
